Carlton Rounds is an academic administration veteran the current Director of Campus Engagement at Cross Cultural Solutions (CCS), a non-profit organization that connects volunteers with people in need around the world. He says the benefits Mindy is referring to come from stepping outside of your comfort zone, making mistakes and learning from those around you. At CCS, Gappers volunteer alongside people of varying ages who come from different backgrounds, which can be a rich opportunity for young people who haven’t yet ventured outside their peer circles.
He tells the story of a time when he was 39-years-old and shared an experience with an 18-year-old who was volunteering at a special education center:
“At dinner, we would talk about our volunteer work days, and this younger guy was a street artist, so he loved to just sit and sketch. Then, one day he said, ‘I don't know what to do about this issue that’s happening on-site at my placement.’ ”
I said, ‘Ok, we'll make a deal. I'll teach you some special education techniques if you'll give your personal time to bring art to people on my placement.’ I could never have replicated his skills, as I have no artistic talent. One of the big, important outcomes for him was that he asked for help from an adult in exchange for his own mature talents. I think that's a huge lesson in reciprocity.”
Experiences like the ones Carlton describes translate into increased self-confidence in everyday life. For example, when a student practices forming a relationship with an adult who isn’t in their family, it helps their interactions in college and beyond. “Maybe your child will be afraid to talk to his professors when he goes to school, but now he’s not afraid anymore because he has an independently established friend who's older than he is. One success with one adult leads to better communication skills with teachers and advisors at school or work.” states Carlton.
ON FALLING BEHIND:
“Something I hear often from parents is that it took them so much effort to get their child through high school,” says Carlton. “We had a tutor because Johnny wasn't so good at math, maybe his executive functions were weak and we had to give some support for that, but he's done so well and we're so proud of him. But if we let him off of his regimented trajectory, his academic skills will atrophy, so when he goes in as a college freshman, he won't do well.”
If this sounds familiar to you, take a moment to ponder your real concern. Let’s say you're worried that your child’s academics will suffer. What do you really mean? Are you worried about focus? Retention? Or is it something more specific, like that your child may forget all of his geometry?
“A good gap year program will actually improve academic and intellectual acuity because focus is related to self-confidence and a sense of increasing challenge over time,” says Carlton. “And in the context of service, you're not being graded, you're being worse than graded; you are facing direct social consequences. In this case, if the student doesn’t perform the task, then fourteen kids aren't going to eat lunch.”
ON INSURANCE FOR COLLEGE:
Rounds offers this common story of a college freshman:
Brendan goes into class burnt out, disengaged or uninterested in academics. Unsurprisingly, he doesn't do well and ends up with a C-average, though he realizes through the process who he really is and what he really wants.
Once he has a little clarity on the situation, he thinks: “This is not the right school for me. It's too competitive, it's not friendly, it doesn't have a community I like or feel supported in.” But then, it's not easy for him to transfer if he has a record of not doing well.
“You're going to spend a quarter of a million dollars on this education. How about $20,000 to launch this person’s life in a way that most other developed societies have already discovered creates remarkable citizens who have a greater sense of happiness and well being?” asks Carlton.
ON IMMATURITY:
“There’s a difference between immaturity, naivety and youth,” says Carlton Rounds. “Immaturity is not governed by only one age group. Immaturity can be a lifelong struggle.. But when we're dealing with gap programs, it’s important to set up a dynamic of respect from the start.”
What Carlton is promoting is the notion that when kids are treated with respect, given an opportunity to do real tasks and then asked to reflect on their experiences, they usually outperform the expectations many adults have for them. So, the issue of immaturity we're talking about? In some respects, it’s rarely an issue at all.
That doesn't mean that students hit the ground in a new country and automatically transform into self-aware adults. Carlton says that throughout his years working with young people in education, everything from gender, race, region and class can affect how long it takes for a child to move through adolescence into the next stage of emerging adulthood. He also says that sometimes, it’s hard to know when you’re looking at a young person how to gauge the speed at which they'll develop.
“I sometimes think, I wish I could just find the exact perfect combo to help them "get it," and the only thing that I've ever seen in my entire life that can have that effect is international experience and service,” he says. “Having to be responsible and having to answer to someone else who's different than you, and in a situation where you're held accountable, is transformative.. And this isn't an accountability that’s meant to shame you if you don't step up, it’s a deeper experience than that.. I think teenagers, in particular, are ravenously hungry for deep, authentic, and independent experiences.”
Perhaps the quiet and more introverted teen finds out that they are well liked, respected and good at what they do. How great is that? Or, maybe for another, they discover that they have to work harder and give more of themselves to be socially rewarded by their peers, and better volunteers. “It is a lot nicer to address this kind of feedback away from everyone you know, so that you have freedom from past perceptions and opinions. For some it can be an opportunity to reinvent themselves.” says Carlton.
ON PREP:
As a parent, you may also start to notice subtle changes as the reality of the decision begins to take hold. “You really start the program when you enroll because it shifts your awareness immediately,” says Carlton. “I tell students to set a Google alert for the country they're going to because every time something comes up, they'll get an email. That way when you get in-country and someone brings up a current event, the student can say, ‘I read about that.’"
ON COST (Quote opens the chapter):
Everyone who goes abroad can't be a white woman between the ages of 18 and 22 because that's not what the U.S. is. I think if gap movement really spreads out, and it is a high quality, you're going to see some government help. - Carlton Rounds, Director of Campus Engagement at Cross Cultural Solutions
ON COLLEGE CREDIT:
But before you jump at the first program you find offering credit, Carlton Rounds says you should consider the impact earning credit may have on the experience. Attending a gap program in the hopes of earning credit could limit the experience of the student. Plus, turning credit into something valuable after the gap may be a long shot.
“The programs that offer credit vary in quality. I always want to make sure that the credits are deeply relevant to the experience of the student. Being an educator, I would vet it like crazy because there's nothing worse than thinking you're escaping boring high school classes, but then you end up taking a poorly designed course that's asking you to "click here if you're culturally sensitive," Carlton says.
He continues: “The last thing we want to do is communicate to a young person that you can have this profound experience, but then still have to take a course that's not at the same level. This makes them wonder, Is that what they have to look forward to in college? That would be a disincentive.”
ON DEFERRAL:
Defer, defer, defer is Carlton’s advice. Still, that doesn’t mean the schools will always let you off easy. “The schools will say things like, ‘I can’t guarantee your financial aid packet next year.’ Don’t listen to them,” says Carlton, who has worked in academic administration for more than 20 years, and has mentored his fair share students through the deferral process. “They don’t even know what your financial aid packet really is when they’re telling you that. And they usually accommodate you, no matter what.”
Carlton’s advice? Put down multiple deposits in order to secure your spot: “The schools will say, ‘Don't put down multiple deposits.’ But for $200? Put down a few deposits because I guarantee the student is going to come back and say, ‘I want to re-assess where I want to go.’ How awesome that they come from a place of strength picking it this time as opposed to being uninformed.”
ON COLLEGE COST:
“You’re paying a lot of money for teaching professors. If 80 percent of your energy is focused on your lateral peer relationships, that's a pretty expensive year,” says Carlton.
ON MALES AND GAP YEARS:
While a gap year can benefit nearly everyone who takes one, Carlton says he wishes males in particular were forced to go. His reasoning is two fold:
For one, their first year drop-out rates are double that of women.
“And two, they’re more culturally isolated, and they’re rewarded for certain sorts of behaviors that slow maturity,” explains Carlton. “Men are very underrepresented, particularly in the private colleges, and are less academically prepared as students because males are always a little behind the curve to begin with. That’s why I think it's extra important for them to go international.”
He adds: “The irony is when they develop broader and more mature skills, their grades go up, but because they’re men, they end up getting privileged in the liberal arts system because they’re so underrepresented.”
ON WHAT TO EXPECT:
Due to the intensity of the situation, parents should also expect some magnification or exaggeration. Carlton sums it up best when he says a gap year is so intense because it’s physical, mental, emotional and political: “Rarely do you get to do all of that at the same time,” he adds.
ON ADJUSTING:
Just like the transition to college, some students adapt quickly, while others might take more time to settle in and get their bearings. As a parent, it can be hard to watch your child struggle to adjust, but Carlton Rounds says most people fall into a standard spectrum when confronted with issues like culture shock.
There are students who go and have very little initial culture shock, so much so that they don’t even have the honeymoon period. For those people, Carlton says the experience slowly amps up throughout their time away. On the other hand, there are times when students arrive and are hit with intense culture shock immediately where they may struggle for the first few days or weeks. “I always let people know that both of those scenarios are completely normal,” he adds.
Because students come from various sub-groups, they may also have different sets of needs that influence how they adjust. Carlton says because he works with diverse racial and socio-economical backgrounds, different questions come up for certain students surrounding how they’ll be accepted to the group.
“We can also group sexual orientation and gender identity into this conversation because often quite frankly, they're a group that has access to resources but are so uninvited in general because they or their parents or their fear they're going to be bullied,” Carlton adds.
He says for parents of children who’ve come out, the instinct may be to not send them into an environment where parent can’t control the outcome: “If you can’t control the environment, they could be in danger. True, but that assumes here at home that they are kept safe and are not in danger, which they are not.”
He continues: “Sometimes the students who get protected because of perceived vulnerability already have advanced coping and resiliency skills. These skills when translated in country often propel them to excel beyond their peers. That's the part that's really neat when you're saying, ‘You code shift really well and you really read a room or group for signs danger because you've had to do that since you were 14. You find there are people like you everywhere.’
ON EMERGENCIES:
“We do a lot around defining what is and is not an emergency at the beginning of a program. Is it that the library is closed in a foreign country? Because if your mom calls, she can’t help you with the country’s library. But if you lost your meds, then that’s a different story,” Carlton says.
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